Category Archives: wtf

Woven and Spun

I heard the news today, oh boy. Another headless army lost another high stakes war by a head down the stretch, too bad. The head continued to roll downhill until blocked by a rock, hard luck. The large mouth heads … Continue reading

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Squiggle

Only the robots knew the true identities of the human spies. None of the humans knew or suspected the robots existed. None of the humans noticed the perfect, inhuman symmetry of the robots, or that the guard dogs did not … Continue reading

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Use It v. Lose It

His honor the newly minted Mayor of San Francisco Gavin Newsom grew himself one great big pair not long after the ceremony in which he swore out loud concluded.  Each was extra large, and then some. The storied San Francisco … Continue reading

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Dacha Diving For Dollars

“What was that again? I’m trying my best to track every important point here.” F. Drumpf, Jr was admiring the design of the detailed tile work on the smaller man’s indoor pool while Vlad the Blade continued to gab on … Continue reading

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Beside Himself

Charming Vlad ‘The Blade’ Putin was sculpting quite an impressive bust of himself in the showrooms of influential New York design circles. He had a slipper chair upholstered in red mohair nicknamed in his honor by Angelo Donghia, a tufted … Continue reading

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10/18/89

Zeno could not get a flight to any Bay Area airport. Not Oakland, not SFX, no way San Jose. Telephone service was down and electricity out all over Santa Cruz County. No buses, no trains. Bridges required support and tunnels … Continue reading

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Kant Say

     The Kid was hoofing it back to his car through a concrete tunnel that smelled like dog shit, cat piss, rancid cooking oil, and the original adobe bricks pitched as weapons against the carbine carrying conquistadors. He was … Continue reading

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Banh Mi Me Underground

      It only looked like a case of suicide. But it smelled ripe like a decomposing pose. Was that putrid smell toxicity? What else could stink ironically so bad? Crap like that constitutes murder in my book. The … Continue reading

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The Vast Space Between Pauses

     Seizing the opportunity between storms, I put on a pair of full length big boy pants and continued my important quest to make big things right. Damn good big thing I did, too. How many indeterminately long and … Continue reading

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Replacement Parts

     The line bending on a curve was going nowhere. That included me, though for sincere personal reasons I felt sure I stood out. The beige robots had planned it that way and they had planned it well. Nothing … Continue reading

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