His honor the newly minted Mayor of San Francisco Gavin Newsom grew himself one great big pair not long after the ceremony in which he swore out loud concluded. Each was extra large, and then some. The storied San Francisco Mint never issued a shinier dime. Not only startled eyebrows were raised. All it took to accomplish was one unmatched day in current events. That’s how stubborn history expected to end in ignominy marches on. Never trust an expectation.
It would of course be preternaturally hard for any recovering dyslexic to remember facts and figures referencing data and statistics without a cheat sheet. But after all the shit he had to swallow the new mayor was not deterred. He was a fucking model for the shining role. His hair was perfect. The applause he evoked was far greater than polite. He promised a heavy load yet to come. Equal numbers were due to be delivered in due time. Even unforgiving members of the Harvey Milk Democratic Club joined grudgingly in the applause. It was a surprise to not only his honor, but to many others, most others to be honest, which he tried to be much of the time, under appropriate conditions, that is. Sort of.
The muscles ordinarily flexed when venturing into the reckless muck of truthiness are rarely used in politics as usual. Nothing like that was required of Gavin Newsom to become a young millionaire. Honesty is fucking hard to pull off without appearing the fool. You use it or lose it. That’s where evolution comes along to grow mutants. Everybody knows that. Even an implausible lie aimed artfully in the middle of even a great pair becomes solid gold. There is a profusion of proof in the professional literature. His faithless wife, a real pro, never failed to point it out. Try walking a straight line after that one lands. If you listen carefully, you can hear the fizz of flat air deflating.
What if the Harvey Milk Democratic Club in a distant millennium becomes as ascendant among Italians in North Beach as Christopher Columbus? What if nobody wins on the final ballot and the mutants take over? What if your best choice on that ballot is None of the Above? Then how does the little head ever get to beat the big head down? Then it would take more than mere millions to fake it. Could that ever happen? Nah.
That’s politics for ya. Ya gotta love it or leave it on the battleground behind.