When will all of you lunatics who slobber, drool, beat, bleed, hurl, and come for the cause of these three fossilized religions that came out of the same barren desert, side by side in the same muck and dust, all the while knowing nothing, and proud of it, making silly super hero shit up as you went along while pillaging from the neighbors and calling that righteous, ever admit that the the jig is up?
Why not jerk off in private, dudes? It’s more than a little unbecoming to show so much of what you’re really made of. It’s icky and it’s gross. Besides, you and your comic super heroes are just so tragically inept. What can any of them do? They don’t save any damsels in distress, that’s for sure. And that compulsive hang-up you’ve got going with retribution and revenge is classic little dick overcompensation if you ask me. And your special effects suck big time. Do you honestly still believe that all there is to see on the big, wide screen out there is in black and white. I mean, c’mon, get real. Or at least realer. Look at what you’ve got to show and tell? Walking on water? Burning bushes? C’mon man, you’ve been out in the sun too long, that’s all. And these many promised flying virgins of yours, for Christ’s sake? What’s the big deal about virgins, anyway? Is it the pain you love so much to cause, the blood you like to suck? I hope you’re not sucking if off of your own dick. I don’t know what to say about that without shivering too uncontrollably. Why not become a real vampire, at least, but do it in your own creepy closet where you won’t be heard or seen?
So I say it’s about time you put down the swords, guns, and magic wands and get up off of your knees? Don’t those knees hurt by now? Of course they do. That’s why you’re so out of sorts and cranky. That’s why you want to kill all the infidels so desperately. Don’t you know that today’s infidel wins tomorrow’s jackpot along with the fairest of maidens? Why not learn to read? That usually helps to learn new shit. Or write. We can always use more comedy writers. Why not stretch before all that bending? Why not lift up into space, take in the sights, and breathe deeply? What about smooth sailing in clear skies? I won’t mention water because you’re so dumb about that you still live in a desert. But what about your mind, you consciousness, your spirit that does not include joining a club that carries a big stick? Don’t you think it’s time to get a new grip?
I know one thing for sure. The rest of us will finally praise and thank you.