I know there has been a lot of crazy talk lately about problems and whatnot. Some of it is more than talk and reaches too far. Some of it gets in the way of normal comings and goings across state lines for maximum profit.
But let’s get out priorities back in order so we can begin to once again walk the proverbial walk. Icy, or even frozen, water should be no obstacle to providence. First must righteously come first, before whatever comes next.
What I want to know is what is the fucking deal with all these Republicans crying right out in the open? In my mind, there is no excuse. I don’t care what anyone says about anything. I can feel it in my guts leading sadly to my bowels. It’s not natural in the way clearly intended by Adam and Eve and James Madison. It must be stopped before it goes too far.
I’m not referring to Republican women obviously. Where would we be, or end up, without them? They are as lean and mean and as uncomplicated as dykes on bikes, armed with handy guns stuffed tastefully into their panties. A weapon like that can’t be concealed when it’s private right from the beginning, right?
No, it’s the so-called men who have me in such a state of alarm, the ones like that douche bag Senator from Kentucky who appears to have a feed back permanently attached to his neck. Is that the best the Republicans can come up with for a purported whip? I can see the spit but there’s no snap or crack in that cracker. It’s hard to even say his name without picturing his face and choking. Plus, what about all the bleached ones who are hanging on like great white whales gorging on Gulf shrimp, or those who jiggle their jowls in public places like ballerinas in tutus?
Didn’t the Republicans claim to win big this time and grab the rising tide once and for all? Haven’t I been hearing from all the same old familiar fat faces that the people have spoken, at least the wizened old codger segment of the people who had nothing better to do on election day.
So what do these Republicans have to cry about? I think that if they don’t stop crying someone strong should give them something to cry about. A hard smack straight to their pudgy pork chops. I bet Sarah Palin could pull it off.
I am afraid that once the momentum from all these tears catches on, as all the contrived emanations that begin with Glenn Beck seem to, tears will become part and parcel of another unstoppable movement. Political tears will become formatted and standardized. Tears will become as acceptable in Republican circles as hardened fruitcakes on speaker platforms at festive occasions.
Then what? What if through some Satanic osmosis, tears have to be confronted on a daily basis? They could become one of those anomalies that occur in nature and can’t be stomped out. Science can throw a decent American for a fucking loop like that, which is why it should be ignored as directed, and as much as possible. Remember, if it wasn’t for that fucking law of gravity, we could all be zipping around like hot air dirigibles.
I wonder what all the tough as nails characters portrayed by arch Republican John Wayne would have to say.
“Follow me, fellers, and we’ll cut these motherfuckers off at the pass.”
“Not me, Jim Dandy. I’m way too much of a scaredy pants and I need to go run and make a number two.”
“Ah, all you fucking wah wah boys make me sick.”
Me too. I know exactly where he’s coming from.
On his first day on the job, John Boehner cried like some skanky bitch who can’t walk a straight line after midnight. Did his fake man-tan char his sensitive skin at the panty line? Then, he went wee-wee all the way home to his mommy wearing his jumbo size diaper. His mommy had just about had it way up to here. His mommy wiped his bottom for the very last time and told him to man up like a woman before his sister kicked his pansy ass.
Was John Boehner secretly one of those boys who would not sit still and play nice in kindergarten? Did he became transformed by the femi-Nazi wenches sent out by the teachers union to cure all filthy little boys of anti-social tendencies in the first grade? Now that they run the show, is he doing their secret bidding? Is he learning where his buns are buttered to such a golden brown?
Is this what we want from the Speaker of the House?
Do you know what I say? I say: Fuck no.
I say I’ve had enough of this girly manhood.
If these Republican so-called men didn’t have the tough mamas like Sarah Palin fighting their battles for them, they would be a complete laughingstock by now. I’d like to see that lard loving lap dog Mitch McConnell shoot a huge animal too dumb to run away like Sarah Palin did. He’d probably need a John Deere tractor to haul his quivering candy ass over the humps.
I wonder what Walt Disney will have to say when he gets back from the deep freezer and finds all his Republican brethren have turned into a bunch of pantywaists who are too afraid of large mice to stand in a circle and clap convincingly. He’d have to make them all form a single line and stand at rigid attention for a well deserved spanking.
Frankly, I have to admit that all of this pussy footing makes me more than a little sick to my stomach. I can’t digest as much well done meat anymore. I don’t gnaw as much on slippery bones. Now, I eat carrot sticks like a rabbit. I enjoy moist cupcakes. I think it is directly related to events of the day. I think it must be part of a contagion.
I say we better get over it before something really bad happens.
Any day now, as it is now, I expect to find some Republican congressman offering free blow jobs in a public pay toilet.
Wouldn’t that be the end all to the be all? What does that do for your digestion? I think that’s supposed to be one of the certain signs of the Rapture.